Thanks for the love... and an update

Thanks for the comments... I really appreciate hearing from people that are or were in the same situation.

I have been counting points since Wednesday, so I feel like I'm back on track. And somehow, I lost 2.8 pounds for my weigh in on Friday. The body is a weird thing, isn't it? I'm not sure how I did it. I did exercise a couple of times during the week and wasn't eating too off course... I just wasn't writing anything down.

Yesterday, we ate lunch at Jason's Deli, which is new to my area. I ordered a potato (reduced portion - smaller than the regular portion) and when it came, I had a feeling it was probably a bad idea. I got home and looked it up... 28 points! Yikes! That's one more than my daily allotment. I had eaten a 4.5 point breakfast. Luckily, the potato did fill me up and I was not tempted to eat in the afternoon like I have been lately. I kept busy during the evening and ended up only having a clementine before bed. Not the best idea, but I was glad that I was able to not go nuts. I didn't want to use a lot of my weekly points since I have bunco on Monday and it's usually hard to each healthy during that.

I've Fallen...

off the Weight Watchers Wagon... and I can't seem to get back on. I'm ashamed to say that I have not been good since the holidays, even though I promised myself weeks ago that I would start again. I cannot seem to track my points for a full day. I start off well in the morning, but by mid-afternoon, I'm searching my kitchen for something sweet to eat. And I'm finding and eating it. I'm mad at myself because I could have lost 5 more pounds (or more) by now.

So what is going on in my head? I've been thinking a lot about that and I'm not sure. I wish it was easy.... both physically and mentally. I know that I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. I want to look good in my clothes - and feel good in them. So what is holding me back?

I have a friend who is heavy (well, I have lots of friends who are heavy, but this is just about one of them). Before I knew her, she had worked hard and lost 100 pounds. Then she had her children and her weight slowly came back on. A couple of years ago, she did it again... lost 100 pounds. She didn't do it the right way - she cut way back on calories and lost the weight in a short period of time (6-8 months). The last time I saw her, which was a couple of months ago, she was big again... bigger than I ever remember her being. This is one of the things that is going around in my head. If I don't lose the weight, then I won't gain it back. I won't have to be embarrassed and have people talk about me behind my back - much like I've heard people talk about my friend.

On the other hand... I cannot live like this anymore. I was not born this way and I don't want to die this way.

I'm thinking that I really need some encouragement. I know that you don't know me, but I'd love to hear something from you (yes... you!). Can you share a story with me - a story of how you overcame the obstacle that I can't seem to get over? Thank you.

What I Want Right Now...

is chocolate. What I'm going to have is a clementine. Maybe even two.

Back in the Saddle

I did not start the year off very well. I broke quite a few of those resolutions that I wrote about. But I am not going to dwell on that. Instead, I am going to be happy that I started back on plan today. I'm writing down my food and keeping track of my points. And I went to the gym today during preschool and had a good workout.

For lunch I had the Roasted Garlic Chicken from Lean Cuisine - only four points. I really like Lean Cuisine meals - they are my favorite of the diet frozen meals. The spinach side dish is yummy! My favorite is the Rosemary Chicken, although I have a hard time finding it.

New Year's Questionnaire

Finding Radiance posted a little new year's questionnaire and I thought I'd answer it too...

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Lost 25 pounds (technically, I've done that before... but not for years)

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did pretty well with not bringing soda into the house. I listed my 2009 ones in the post below.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I had a niece born this summer.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Luckily, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
Did not go outside of the USA.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A trip alone with my husband.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 28th - when I decided I'd had enough and started tracking my points with WW.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Doing something for myself and putting myself first - something I have a hard time doing.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Spending way more money than we brought in.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A wii

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My 8 year old ran a 5K and my 3 year old started enjoying preschool.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Some of the politicians as they campaigned.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Into the mortgage.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Having a little time to myself when my little one started preschool.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Kid Rock's "All Summer Long"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? The same
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner by 25 pounds
c) richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eating.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Still in love with my husband.

22. What was your favorite TV show?
Lost, Top Chef, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No... actually, maybe one of my neighbors that I had words with. Although I don't think it's really hate - just strong dislike.

24. What was the best book you read?
Twilight

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
???

26. What did you want and get?
Too many things to list.

27. What did you want and not get?
A lottery win (guess it would help to play!).

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
None come to mind.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 37. Can't remember exactly what I did.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I had won a bunch of money.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
A year of not fitting into the clothes in my closet and doing something about it instead of shopping for bigger sizes.

32. What kept you sane?
My family, although they drive me insane some of the time

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Obama

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The whole election.

35. Who did you miss?
My sister, who lives too far away

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
The only person that is going to change anything for me is me.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
???

Three Pound Holiday Season

I got on the scale today and it became official... I gained 2.8 pounds in the past 2 weeks. I haven't tracked my points since the Friday before Christmas and it showed. Although, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I figured it would be at least 5 pounds. And I'm still at the 200 mark, which was my Christmas goal. However, gaining those 3 pounds made me think how quickly and easily it would be for me to gain all the weight I have lost in the past three months. And I'll bet it would take far less than three months to come back on.

I've read a lot about resolutions on other blogs and have been thinking about mine.

1. Make my WW 10% by Valentine's Day. My 10% is 195, so with my little gain, I need to lose 5 more pounds. Totally doable in the six weeks before February 14th.

2. Stay off the soda. For New Year's 2008, I vowed not to bring soda into the house. And for the most part, I was successful in keeping that resolution. I do allow myself soda when I am out and at other people's houses.

3. Exercise more. Go to the gym at least once during preschool time per week.

4. Pay down debt.

5. Plan meals more and eat out less. That will help to stay on plan and to save money.

Happy New Year!