Where will I be in a year from now?

What will I look like? What size will I be? How much will I weigh? I do not want to go to my high school reunion as a fatty. I know that I won't be a skinny minny, but I'd like to be in a smaller size. To weigh less than I weigh now... maybe even quite a bit less. I haven't seen many of my high school friends in years. I don't want to be judged by anyone.

I hate being miserable in my own skin. And that's exactly how I'm feeling. So uncomfortable in my own body. This is not the way I was supposed to be. No matter what, a year is going to go by. And I can be happier and more miserable. Which will I choose?

I'm rambling... I can't seem to sort my thoughts out. I don't want to be all talk and no action.

Random Thoughts

Last night, I had two bowls of Frosted Flakes. When I am going to get it through my head that I am not going to lose weight eating Frosted Flakes at 10:00 at night. But they're so, so good. I have no willpower whatsoever.

The good news is I've lost about 5 pounds in the past couple of weeks. The better news is I only gained back a pound while being on vacation at the inlaws last week. I've been doing fairly well with my walking. I only took one "planned" walk while on vacation, but I was on my feet a lot and managed to make quite a few steps every day.

A couple of weeks ago, I ran to the grocery store. As I walked in, I noticed a lady putting her groceries in her car. The lady was my high school boyfriend's mother. I could not let her see me. When I used to make out with her son (19 or so years ago), I was approximately 100 pounds lighter. ONE HUNDRED POUNDS. How disgusting is that? I could hear the conversation in my head... "Guess who I ran into? Boy, has she gotten fat. Her kids are cute, but her... wow! She's really let herself go." Granted she was (and I assume still is) a really nice lady, so maybe it wouldn't go quite like that.

And my 20 year high school reunion is coming up in another year. That's another motivation to lose weight. At my ten year reunion, I had just lost quite a bit of weight. I was probably about 60 pounds lighter than I am now. That's how I'd like to be in a year... if not more.