Starting over... again

Third time is a charm... so they say. I've started this blog to help me on my (unsuccessful) journey twice already - now I'm onto my third time. And it is a journey, right? So here I am again.

I currently weigh more than I ever have. Ever. Even when I was 40 weeks pregnant with my last baby. Yeah... 8 pounds heavier than that. How disgusting is that? And today I was watching a dvr'ed episode of "John and Kate plus 8" and she mentioned how much she weighed when she gave birth to her six babies. Yeah... I weigh more than that.

A couple of weeks ago, I was looking through some old photos. Came across one from around my 19th birthday. I thought I was soooo fat then. I'd give a lot of money to be that "fat" right now. I'd love to get back down to that - or even close to that.

My clothes aren't fitting and I refuse to buy any bigger. So I'll have to squeeze myself into the clothes I have - or just wear the couple that really do fit. I'm not enjoying my life right now... and I know that quite a bit of it comes from my size. I'm disgusted with myself.... have I mentioned that?

So here I am. I've done well for the past two days. Well, minus all the wine I drank at Bunco last night. But my food eating has been pretty good. I've taken two (short) walks today. A little something is better than nothing.

I'm vowing to write more often - to hold myself accountable to something... even if it's just myself.