Sabotage

I don't know what it is - or why it is - but I am trying to self destruct. I have not tracked since my gall bladder attack nearly 2 weeks ago. I have been eating way too much cereal and cookies. And it shows. I weighed in last night. I was up THREE pounds. That's right... three (actually, a little over). I am appalled with myself. I am disgusted. I am ready to get back on the weight watcher train and lose this weight.

Now... why do I think I've been acting this way? Seriously, in the thing that I call my mind, I believe I am acting this way so that I don't lose weight too quickly. Being the hypochondriac that I am, losing weight too quickly may indicate that you are sick. I know, it makes no sense. But honestly, it does make a little sense to me in the little warped world that I live in.

But I've had enough. I am going to track like crazy this week. I am going to follow the plan to a tee. I am going to lose some of the three pounds that I gained this week.

On a side note, I saw a surgeon yesterday and will have my gall bladder out sometime in the next three weeks. I am terrified. Please send me some reassuring words.