Taking a Little Break

I haven't been very good about keeping track of my eating lately. I'm hovering around 191, so I haven't gained or lost anything. I have been trying to keep my food pretty bland and plain. I've been having really horrible heartburn, as I talked about previously. I got a referral to a GI doctor and have an appointment on April 1st. My repeat blood tests came back normal, so that was very good. I was very stressed about them. Which was obvious when I burst out in tears after getting the results the other day from the nurse.

Reflux

My doctor's appointment went well on Monday. I got a lot of blood tests done and have to go back in a couple of weeks for a repeat liver function test - numbers were a little elevated. The doctor said it's nothing to worry about, but of course I'm doing just that... lots of worrying. Google and webmd are NOT your friend!

I was back at the doctor today for horrible abdominal and back pain. Got diagnosed with reflux and got the little purple pill. Hopefully it will kick in soon. I'm pretty miserable right now. It's been lingering for a couple of weeks, but was really excruciating today.

Lost 2 more pounds as of today. Saw a number that I haven't seen in about 5 years. I know I weighed 192 when I got pregnant in April 2004... today was 191!

Chubby Chick's Fourth of July Challenge

I found a new weight loss challenge to join and hope that it helps me be successful... Chubby Chick's Fourth of July Challenge. I've chosen a goal to lose 25 pounds by the 4th of July... that's a little more than 18 weeks away. I know that it IS possible... we'll see if I can do it. I have my 20th high school reunion at the end of July - that would be fantastic to lose 25 more pounds before then. That would put me at about the weight I was at my 10 year reunion in 1999. And I remember feeling very comfortable with myself back then.

I've fallen off the wagon with writing down my food lately - I vow to start doing so again tomorrow. I'm not sure what's going with the wheat thing. I decided yesterday to try to eat something with wheat in it (and I chose a girl scout cookie and a brownie - seriously not the best choices). The good news is that my stomach did not respond the way it was a couple of weeks ago. So that's good. I've eaten a few more items today that contain wheat with no problems. I'm going to talk to the doctor about it tomorrow and hopefully will start eating normally again soon. It's really thrown me for a loop. I have been scared to eat because of what my stomach might feel like. And then my stomach would hurt because I was starving. It was a horrible cycle that I was putting myself through.

Say a little prayer for me for my appointment tomorrow. Truthfully, I'm terrified. I have a horrible case of white coat syndrome - my blood pressure and pulse goes way up at the doctor. My worst fear is they are going to tell me that I am dying. I have no reason to believe that, but sometimes I am not very logical!

No Wheat for About a Week

I never realized how much of our food has wheat in it. Pretty much EVERYTHING. Bread, baked goods (like girl scout cookies!), pasta, cereal... you name it. For about a week, I've been on a quest to eliminate wheat from my diet. And it's hard. Very hard. For the past several months, I've been eating toast for breakfast. There will be no more of that - at least not for a while. No sandwiches for lunch. Even the frozen meals from Lean Cuisine and Healthy Choice - that have been staples in my diet recently - are out. No pasta for dinner.

I did find some yummy granola at Trader Joe's that I've been eating... no wheat. And Rice Krispies, which I love, don't contain wheat.

My stomach has been feeling better for the past several days... and that's a very good thing. I just hope that this is not a permanent thing. I don't want to have food issues. Actually, I already have food issues... those food issues made me overweight. I don't want to have MORE food issues. I am already annoyed by all of this.

Wish me luck at my doctor's appointment next week. I'm actually really nervous about it. She's a new doctor to me - recommended my a neighbor. I'm hoping that she has good bedside manor. I need someone who will be nice to me.

Is Wheat the Problem?

I've been having some stomach pains lately after I eat. Really bad stomach pains that start about 5-15 minutes after I eat and stay for a couple of hours. I've been trying to keep track of what I've eaten when my tummy starts hurting and I've come to the conclusion that it's food that contains wheat. Breads, pasta, tortillas, baked goods... all those carbs that I absolutely LOVE! I've done some research and I think I may have developed a wheat intolerance. And it absolutely sucks! I've decided to lay off the wheat products for a week or so and see if my stomach issues go away. That's going to be really hard. But I'm up for a challenge. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have a doctors appointment in a week or so, so I'll talk to her about this too.

Does anyone else have an issue like this that they've dealt with? I'd love to hear about it!

The Big 10 Percent

I had a very good week and lost 2 pounds. Which means that not only did I reach my personal Valentine's Day goal of 195... I also reached my 10% milestone with Weight Watchers. I am officially down 23.6 pounds on WW... and I'm really down 28.6 pounds from when I started on my own in August. That's big. That's a lot. I'm proud of myself. Although I have a ways to go. My new mini-goal is 175... 18 more pounds. I wonder if I can do it by the time the pool opens at the end of May.

I think it really helped that I worked out a record (for me) five times this week. Three outdoor walks and two trips to the gym. Especially since girl scout cookies came in this week and I am having a hard time avoiding them. Although I will tell you that I have not eaten an entire sleeve of thin mints as I have in years past. Four thin mints are four points... and that's plenty : ).

I have a doctor's appointment for a physical in a couple of weeks. I would like to tell her that I have recently lost 30 pounds. I haven't had a real physical in about 10 years... which I know is not good. But I'm taking control of my health now and making myself a priority... and that is a good thing.

It's been a while...

It's been quite a while since I checked in with my blog. No real reason, really. I've been doing fairly well with my eating and working out. So far, I've worked out four times since Friday, which is great for me. It's been really nice here this week, so I've gotten in two outdoor walks. That's been a very nice change. We've had such a cold winter so far this winter, so a few days of spring preview has been great. I hope to get a long walk in with some friends tomorrow before winter comes back this weekend. They're even calling for a possiblity of snow on Saturday.

I'm almost to my 195 Valentine's goal... which is good since Saturday is Valentine's Day! I hope to be able to achieve it at my weigh on on Friday. I'm kicking myself a little since I really should be lower than where I am. It's a little sad when I read people's blogs and see they've lost 15 or more pounds since Christmas and I've only lost about 5. Oh well...

Thanks for the love... and an update

Thanks for the comments... I really appreciate hearing from people that are or were in the same situation.

I have been counting points since Wednesday, so I feel like I'm back on track. And somehow, I lost 2.8 pounds for my weigh in on Friday. The body is a weird thing, isn't it? I'm not sure how I did it. I did exercise a couple of times during the week and wasn't eating too off course... I just wasn't writing anything down.

Yesterday, we ate lunch at Jason's Deli, which is new to my area. I ordered a potato (reduced portion - smaller than the regular portion) and when it came, I had a feeling it was probably a bad idea. I got home and looked it up... 28 points! Yikes! That's one more than my daily allotment. I had eaten a 4.5 point breakfast. Luckily, the potato did fill me up and I was not tempted to eat in the afternoon like I have been lately. I kept busy during the evening and ended up only having a clementine before bed. Not the best idea, but I was glad that I was able to not go nuts. I didn't want to use a lot of my weekly points since I have bunco on Monday and it's usually hard to each healthy during that.

I've Fallen...

off the Weight Watchers Wagon... and I can't seem to get back on. I'm ashamed to say that I have not been good since the holidays, even though I promised myself weeks ago that I would start again. I cannot seem to track my points for a full day. I start off well in the morning, but by mid-afternoon, I'm searching my kitchen for something sweet to eat. And I'm finding and eating it. I'm mad at myself because I could have lost 5 more pounds (or more) by now.

So what is going on in my head? I've been thinking a lot about that and I'm not sure. I wish it was easy.... both physically and mentally. I know that I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. I want to look good in my clothes - and feel good in them. So what is holding me back?

I have a friend who is heavy (well, I have lots of friends who are heavy, but this is just about one of them). Before I knew her, she had worked hard and lost 100 pounds. Then she had her children and her weight slowly came back on. A couple of years ago, she did it again... lost 100 pounds. She didn't do it the right way - she cut way back on calories and lost the weight in a short period of time (6-8 months). The last time I saw her, which was a couple of months ago, she was big again... bigger than I ever remember her being. This is one of the things that is going around in my head. If I don't lose the weight, then I won't gain it back. I won't have to be embarrassed and have people talk about me behind my back - much like I've heard people talk about my friend.

On the other hand... I cannot live like this anymore. I was not born this way and I don't want to die this way.

I'm thinking that I really need some encouragement. I know that you don't know me, but I'd love to hear something from you (yes... you!). Can you share a story with me - a story of how you overcame the obstacle that I can't seem to get over? Thank you.

What I Want Right Now...

is chocolate. What I'm going to have is a clementine. Maybe even two.