Points Counting Break

I know it's not good, but I haven't tracked my points in five days. I don't think I've been too bad, but I know I'm most likely going over my points. I have weighed myself every day and am on track of where I should be. Not like I've gone completely crazy and gained five pounds. I'm going to figure out my points today and will hopefully do that same tomorrow. Christmas will be hard and so will the following days while we travel out of state to my in-laws.

But I'm still here... still trying to watch what I eat. And I promise myself that I will get back on the wagon.

Merry Christmas to all!

Note to Self

When you eat the way you used to, you will get a tummy ache. You will not feel well and it will not be pretty.

A Hard Weekend with Eating

I went out both Friday and Saturday nights this weekend. And some of the activities while going out centered around food. And I did not make the best choices. Although when I look back to it I see that I could have done much worse.

On Friday, I got together with some girlfriends. We went to dinner - I had fish and chips. Chips meaning fries. And I ate the whole thing. The movies were our next stop. We saw "Four Christmases", which I really enjoyed. It was short (like 80 minutes) and I wasn't really happy about spending $10 for the movie. Really... $10? When did movies go up to $10? I obviously haven't gone to a movie at night in a long time. The good news is that I didn't have any snacks at the movies. After spending $10 for the ticket, I wasn't spending any more money. And I was stuffed from dinner. After the movies, it was on to Bonefish for drinks. I had a delicious mojito - mmmmmm.... And no dessert for me!

On Saturday, the family went into the city to see it's Christmas tree with some friends. Then out to dinner. Unfortunately, the "restaurant" was really more of a bar and there wasn't much on the menu that was good for you. I ended up having french onion soup (which was sooo good) and ate some of my daughter's turkey club (just ate some of the turkey). What did me in, though, was the two ciders I had. And I happened to glance at the label when I was almost finished with the second one... 200 calories. Yikes!

So when I weighed myself on Sunday (yes, I still need to work on not weighing myself every day), it said 202. The positive is that today, it was back down to 199. So that's good. I need to work some to lose a little more this week. I'd like a bigger cushion between my current weight and 200. And I have two (yes, two!) cookie exchanges this week. I plan, though, to bring the cookies home and stick them right into the freezer until I take them out when we have people here for Christmas.

New Decade... New Century

Okay... I'm going to admit my weight. I feel comfortable, because really, no one who reads this knows who I am. Are you ready for it... I now weigh 199.2 pounds. That's right... I'm out of the 200's. So there. And let me tell you, I never thought I would be so happy to weigh 199 pounds.

My Christmas goal was to weigh less than 200 pounds. And I've done it, thank you very much. Now my Christmas goal is to still weigh less than 200 pounds on Christmas. Then I'll come up with a new goal to work towards after the holidays.

A little recent weight history... I've weighed more than 200 since at least 2006. I weighed 192 when I got pregnant in April 2004 (which, by the way, was what I weighed when I gave birth the first time). When I gave birth nine months later, I weighed 212. Which was the heaviest I'd ever been. I lost quite a bit of that weight soon after giving birth - I imagine I was down in the 190's by March or April. I don't remember the weight creeping back on, but I know it did. I went for a check up in November 2006 and weighed 207. And my doctor told me that I really needed to lose weight. But I didn't. Instead, I gained about 15 pounds in the next 22 months. And then my highest weight ever was 222... which is what I weighed in August of this year when I decided I needed to do something about it. I lost 5 pounds over about 7 weeks or so before I joined Weight Watchers. And now I've lost almost 18 pounds on WW.

I did manage to exercise more this week than last. I went to the gym during both preschool days and walked on the treadmill. Actually, yesterday I even ran a little. It was only three minutes out of thirty, but it's a start. I've also walked a lot doing more Christmas shopping (will it ever end???).

Uh okay...

I just plugged in my weight info in the online Weight Watcher and got this message...

"Please note: You're probably excited to be losing weight, but you're losing faster than is recommended. Although it's normal to lose over 2 lbs in 1 week, if you lose more than an average of 2 lbs per week over a 4-week period, this could pose health risks, such as heart irregularities, anemia or loss of muscle mass. Please slow your weight loss; your doctor can help you do this if you're not sure how."

Hmmm. I'm not losing more than 2 lbs per week. My weight loss over the past 4 weeks has been high 1's pretty much. Three weeks ago, I didn't weigh (Thanksgiving) and five weeks ago, I did lose 2.4. I thought I was doing well. Do I need to be worried that I'm losing too much? It's not like I'm bringing in Biggest Loser numbers.

I Feel Sick

Tonight I took the girls to the Christmas party at my grandmother's senior apartment complex. There was lots of food and I ate way too much of it. And now my stomach is killing me - I've already been into the Tums. I went in thinking that I would be pretty good, but I wasn't. The only way I could have really been good was not to eat anything - there wasn't really much that was good for you. Luckily, I did get a trip to the gym in earlier today and I hadn't used many points before the party.

On a positive note... I have been fitting into clothes that haven't fit in quite a while. My husband gave me pjs that I couldn't even get past my hips last year - I'm wearing them right now. My wardrobe has expanded without me having to buy anything... all things that have been in my closet which I haven't been able to wear for the past couple of years.

A Little Closer

I'm down 1.6 pounds this week. That puts me a little closer to my Christmas goal. In fact, it makes it so I have one more pound before I reach my goal. And I'm confident that I will lose that one pound in the next three weeks. I know it's going to be a little harder this month than it would be other times of the year.

I mentioned to my husband yesterday that I wish I had more time to exercise. My husband works a second job during this time of year (don't feel sorry for him... it's his choice and he loves it. It's not for the money) so he doesn't get home at night until a lot later than usual. And with a 3 year old, I don't get a lot of alone time to do what I want by myself. I do get preschool time, but that's only six hours a week. And lately, I've been using that time to Christmas shop by myself. I guess I do get a little exercise by walking around all those stores... although not enough to get my heart rate up.

Okay... so I'm full of excuses. I'm going to make it my goal to exercise more this week than I did last week. Shouldn't be too hard since I only exercised once.

I've been reading on a couple of blogs that Weight Watchers is launching a new plan this week. Can't wait to hear more about it. I am having some problems with the WW web site - it's not saving my Plan Manager. Anyone else having the same problem?

Back on Track After a Short Break

I was a little worried about Thanksgiving and it turns out I needed to be. I had decided in advance not to track points that day, but to be careful with my eating. I did not want to deprive myself or drive myself crazy. I did not go too overboard. I took small servings of the Thanksgiving foods that I love and did not go back for seconds. I did eat way too much of the brie appetizer that was made. I also had a small piece of cake and a small piece of pie.

My sister-in-law told us that she had heard that the average person eats 4,800 calories on Thanksgiving. I do not think I did that. We did walk in the turkey trot on Thanksgiving, so I did get some exercise before eating all that food!

Unfortunately for me, my not keeping track of points on Thursday turned into not keeping track of points on Friday... or Saturday. I did not go crazy on either of those days, but I know I ate more than I should have. I had Thanksgiving leftovers for lunch and dinner on Friday (including dessert) and we had dinner out on Saturday.

I am back on track now. I will be counting my points daily again. I also decided not to weigh in this week. My weigh in day is Friday and I thought for my mental health, I shouldn't weigh myself the day after Thanksgiving. I'll be working hard the rest of the week to have a decent number on the scale this week.

Weigh-in and Thoughts on Thanksgiving

I'm down 1.8 pounds this week. That was a bit of a surprise since I didn't think I did very well, especially since there wasn't much exercising or fruit/veggie eating this week. I did stay within my points every day but one and didn't eat hardly any of my weekly points. So it's all good! I'm 2.6 pounds away from my Christmas goal. I'm not sure if that's going to happen this week - I'm being realistic.

Thanksgiving is going to be hard. It's one of my favorite days of the year. A lot of my very favorite foods... and lots of it. I did tell my mom that I'd like to make some of the dishes a little on the lighter side this year. I mentioned making carrots. She said "We could make Grandma's buttered carrots." Not quite what I had in mind. I'm going to do my very best and not beat myself up about what I eat.

A good thing that we are doing on Thanksgiving... a Turkey Trot. My husband and brother-in-law are going to run the 5K. My sister, brother, sister-in-law and I, along with the kids (most of them in strollers) are walking the 2 mile "fun walk." Although I've seen the weather forecast for that day - not sure how fun it's going to be walking 2 miles in the freezing cold. But we'll just make sure we're dressed for the weather and I'll earn some activity points before the big meal!

How do you hold yourself accountable?

I was talking to a friend this morning and that is what she asked me. We were talking about WW online, which is the program I'm using to lose weight right now. My answer was "I just do." She said that she would probably cheat. I told her if I had tried this six months ago, I may have failed. I was not ready then... I was ready on September 25th when I started. If I cheated, I would only be cheating myself. I have been being honest with myself and tracking all of my points... even when I ate 61 points in one day.

I have so far to go. But I am proud of the fact that I weigh less now than I have in at least two years. And 15 pounds from now, I'll be less than I've been in at least four and a half years.

I have noticed things in my head changing. I have been doing far less eating without thinking. There were donut holes when I was today. I did not eat any. There was coffee cake where I was yesterday. Again, none for me. Two months ago, I would have chowed down without even thinking twice about it.

I didn't get an official work out done yesterday during preschool. Instead, I went Christmas shopping. But that was a lot of walking. I walked over 7,000 steps yesterday - which is about what is on my pedometer on the days where I walk for 30 minutes.

Yikes... not the best choice!

I went to Pei Wei for dinner this evening. I just looked online for their nutritional info (which you can find at www.peiwei.com. Click "menu", then "nutritional information"). I had the Mongolian Beef for dinner, which, evidently, was not the best choice. Especially since I ate the whole thing. And it's supposed to be 2 servings. Whoops. That's 20 points. Good thing I hadn't had much to eat today - and I exercised, which gave me a few activity points. Yikes. Just shows you how bad things can go if you don't plan them. I should have checked the site BEFORE I went to eat there! I'll know better next time! I really should have had that salad I thought about - that would have only been 13 points for the whole thing.

So I still went over today (by 7 points) and, again, I didn't eat any fruits or vegetables. I really need to get my shit together and start eating the 4-5 recommended fruits and veggies I'm supposed to eat every day. That's something I'll start working on tomorrow!

Binging through the weekend

First a success... I did keep track of my points this weekend - and I stayed within my allotment. That said, I did not eat well. I did not have a single fruit or veggie on Sunday and the only one on Saturday was the veggies in the soup I had for lunch. I have been doing quite well staying on plan and have been getting good results. I can't quite understand how though because I'm not eating the way I should be and I know it.

Last night, I was craving cereal. I LOVE cereal. Not good for you cereal, but cereal like Frosted Flakes and Lucky Charms. I decided to have a big bowl of Captain Crunch w/ Crunch Berries. I have only had one other bowl since I started WW. And when I have a bowl of cereal, it's not the 3/4 cup serving size recommended on the box. It's a big bowl - probably 2 - 2-1/2 cups of cereal. I did have the points to use, though, so it wasn't all bad. It's good to think about the fact I've only had two bowls of cereal in the past seven weeks... this used to be a daily occurrence (sometimes more than once a day!).

It's been quite cold here (they're calling for some snow tonight), so I'm having a hard time getting my walking in. I don't want to take my three year old out in the stroller (she'd complain the whole time anyway) and my husband is getting home well after dark from work. We have a gym in our neighborhood and I have used it twice in the past five days. I'm hoping to motivate myself to go during preschool time so I can at least get in two walks a week.

Recipe - Chicken Apple Chili

I can't remember which blog I found the recipe for Creamy Chicken Apple Chili, but I made it last night and it was delicious!

I modified it a bit (I used way less butter and oil than the recipe called for). I used chicken breasts and cooked them in the crock pot all day and shredded them (so no olive oil for that). I only used 1 tbsp of olive oil for the onion and apples. I used 2 tbsp of butter instead of 4. I also only used one can of cannelini beans instead of 2 (only because that's what I had in the pantry). When I added it all up, it was only 5 points for a one cup serving.

Even my kids liked it. So that's a success. And there's some left over, so I'm going to have some for lunch.

If you are the one that originally posted the recipe - thank you! Leave me a comment and I'll give you the kudos you deserve!

Friday Weigh-In

Remarkably, I lost 2.2 pounds this week. This after my 61 point binge last Friday. Thank you for the kind comments by the way - they really helped me put things into perspective. I used 33 of my weekly points that day and am proud to say I didn't use any others during the rest of the week. I'm down 12.6 pounds since 9/25/08. My total loss is 17.6 since the beginning of August.

I had hoped to be a certain number by Christmas and that number is only 4.4 pounds away. I know that's totally doable - perhaps even by the end of this month. And then I'll have to think of a new goal. It would be really awesome if I could lose another 9.4 pounds by the end of the year - that will put me at 10% since I started Weight Watchers. I am going to work very hard to achieve that. But I also know if I don't do it by New Years, I will do it soon afterward.

Nutritional Information

Like a lot of people, I eat out way too much. We've been trying to limit it due to our budget, but sometimes it's so much easier to eat out. Restaurants have come so far when it comes to giving us nutritional information. It's so much easier now to look up information on the restaurant's web site and figure out my points.

For lunch today, I ate at Potbelly. Not only do they have nutritional information, it's all interactive on their web site. You can click on the different aspects of the sandwich you ate - it gives you all the information you need to figure out your points. To get to the nutritional info, click on "Our Food" and then "nutritional information." I had 1/2 of a turkey sandwich (4 points) and a cup of garden veggie soup (1 point).

For dinner tonight, we met some friends at Moe's. Yummy. I usually get a kid's meal (it's really enough food), which is what I did today. I had the Moo Moo Mr. Cow, which is their kid's burrito and it was 8 points. I could have reduced the points by having no cheese or tortilla, but I had the points to use today so I had it the way I like it. Their web site nutritional information is the same as Potbelly - all interactive. Here's the link that goes directly to their nutritional info. And it even has the info for desserts, so I knew the cookie was "only" 4 points and since I had points to use, I ate it and it was delicious!

Ruby

Did you catch this new show on the Style Network last night? It's about a woman named Ruby that lives in Savannah, Georgia and weighs close to 500 pounds. She's beautiful, friendly and funny and I really liked her. I hope that she succeeds in her journey to get healthy. I've already set my dvr for next week.

61 Points

Yesterday I ate like I would have before I joined Weight Watchers. I had my normal breakfast, had a sandwich for lunch (an 11 point sandwich) and pizza and wine for dinner. When I added up the points I ate, the total was 61 points. SIXTY-ONE Freaking Points. Holy Moly. It's no wonder I've gained 14 pounds in 18 months (and more than 30 pounds in about 3-1/2 years... yikes, that's painful to write!).

Weigh-In Friday

I was very pleased this morning to see that I lost 1.8 pounds this week. My total WW loss is 10.2 since September 25 - six weeks ago. That brings my total loss since August to 16 pounds. I have a personal goal to lose 6 more pounds by the end of the year, which is completely doable.

Two years ago, during my yearly exam, I weighed one pound more than I do now. My doctor told me that I needed to lose some weight. I responded to that by gaining 15 pounds in about 18 months. Not good. But now I've lost those 15 pounds and will hopefully continue to lose.

My fat jeans are starting to get quite baggy. I tried on the size down (I have quite a collection of jeans in three or four different sizes) and I can get them up over my hips, but I cannot button them. Maybe in a couple of weeks.

I had bought two pairs of capris in the spring in a size lower than I wear - a little hopeful thinking, I believe. I don't like to try clothes on in the store, so I bought them and brought them home. Of course, they didn't fit AT ALL, but I kept them. Well, I put them on today and could button them. They don't look great - they are a little tight (my 3 year old asked me if I was wearing leggings). But they were on. I'm going to work towards them looking great in the spring. Or maybe they'll be way too big.

Something I Never Thought I'd Do

I've been craving a plain Hershey's bar since Halloween. I was going through my daughter's candy yesterday, sorting and getting rid of stuff, and I came across a Hershey's bar. Yum. I set it aside to eat today. I just opened it. It's NOT a plain Hershey's bar. It's white chocolate... if I'd looked closer, I would have seen that it says "Cookies'n'Creme". Shucks. Two months ago, I would have said "Oh well" and eaten it anyway. Not now. White chocolate is so not worth the points to me.

That's progress! Baby steps, right?

An idea from another blogger

Now that I'm a blogger, I spend a lot of time (way more than I should!) checking out other blogs. I came across this post on this blog about creating a list of things that you want to do in a certain amount of time. This blogger chose 65 things in 365 days. The person that inspired her made a list of 101 things she wants to do in 1001 days. I'm really going to think about things and come up with my list. I'm not sure how many things or how many days... although I'm thinking about having my birthday be the deadline. Stay tuned...

I've had a pretty good week, I think. We'll see what the scale says tomorrow. I cheated a bit and stood on the scale this morning and was pleased with the number so I'm hoping for a good result. Which would be amazing considering the weekend I had with Halloween and a party (and on both days I consumed quite a bit of beer). But I have been very honest with myself and kept track of my points. I've also been trying very hard to drink lots of water. And I even took a walk today (with my whiney three old) when I really did not want to.

I'll check in tomorrow with my weigh-in result.

GO VOTE!!!

I don't care who has your vote, but please go do your American duty and vote. I'm happy to say that I've voted in every election since I was 18. This will be the fifth Presidential election that I'm voting in. So far, I'm 2 for 2. This year is the tie breaker.

A New Day

It's been nearly a year since I started this blog with this post. A year. If I had actually been dedicated back then, I could have lost 50 or more pounds by now. But I spent the eight or so months after that post making excuses for why I didn't need to change my ways.

But now I'm dedicated to seeing this journey through. I will admit that I did not have the best weekend as far as eating. It was hard. We had Halloween on Friday and a party on Saturday. My kids stayed with my parents and my mom sent home the cookies they had frosted. And I've been eating the candy and the cookies. But I'm also counting my points. Granted I've gone over for the past two days, but that just means I need to be careful for the rest of the week. In the past, my "diet" probably would have been over by now. I would tell myself that I had blown it already, so why not forget about it?

But not this time. I will not do that to myself again. Today is a new day.

I Survived Halloween

I sit here looking at the two huge mounds of Hallween candy on my family room floor from my girl's trick-or-treat bags. I just counted up all my points for the evening and thought I'd done well - and then I remember the four beers that I drank tonight. Oops. That added eight points. When all is said and done, I didn't do too bad today - only went over my daily allotment by 5. And since I weighed in today, my weekly points went back to 35, so I had those to work with.

When I was looking for points info to figure out the candy I ate, I found this great site that listed a lot of Halloween candy and their points values. I had eaten two pieces - a Reese's Peanut Cup (2 points) and a package of milk duds (1 point). Not bad considering how much candy is sitting here in front of me.

I mentioned I weighed in today - with a loss of 1.8 pounds. That makes my total on WW 8.4 pounds and my grand total of almost 14 pounds. Go me! My point allotment went down by one point today. Hopefully that won't make much of a difference.

Now I just need to get through the weekend. We are going to a Halloween party tomorrow evening and hopefully there will be some good food for me to eat there. I usually send most of the candy to work with my husband and that won't happen until Monday, so I have to get through 2 more days.

My Kettle Bell Kicked My Ass

I was feeling very motivated yesterday during preschool time, which is pretty much the only daytime alone time I get all week. I thought about taking a walk or going to the gym in my community. Instead, I thought I'd workout with my kettle bell.

I can't remember when I bought the kettle bell. I think it was early in the spring, so at least six months ago. I had been watching a marathon of the British version of The Biggest Loser and the trainer used kettle bells for the workout. I ran right out and bought one - and it's been sitting in the box in the corner of my family room every since.

So yesterday I decided to try the kettle bell. It came with a DVD, so I popped it into the DVD player and got ready for my workout. The DVD ended up just showing you how to do the exercises. I did them. No big deal. I had bought a pretty light kettle bell - "only" 10 pounds. The nice lady on the DVD (with the very skinny body and huge muscles) talked about how your lower back shouldn't be hurting if you are doing the exercises right. My lower back did not hurt. I did lots of squats with the kettle bell. Okay... a fit person wouldn't consider it a lot, but for me, 20 is a lot.

Last night, my legs hurt a bit. I took a long, hot bath and felt pretty good. This morning, though, my legs and back are killing me. I'm sitting with the heating pad on my back as I type this. I'm probably going to have to go take another hot bath. I'm pretty sure the kettle bell was used as a torture device back in the middle ages.

But... I did walk/run on the treadmill this morning. I did some stretches and do feel a little better since I exercised. And you read it right... I ran. I walked for 3 minutes, then ran for one minute. I know it's not much, but it's a big deal for me. I hope to be able to start running on a more regular basis. My husband has been running regularly for a couple of months and has lost quite a bit of weight. I'd like to lose 10-20 more pounds, though, before I run outside where people can see me.

How Much Can You Blame on Your Parents

I'm not one to think about how much my childhood or my parents screwed up my life. I had a pretty good childhood and I have lots of fun memories from those years. When people blame their childhood for their adult problems, I think they should pretty much get over it. Of course, there are definitely circumstances where your childhood can screw you up, but I'd like to think that most people had pretty good childhoods.

Anyway... where I am going with this. My parents. My parents are both overweight. Not morbidly obese, but overweight nonetheless. And on top of that, they have some health conditions that are not helped because of being overweight. They both have high blood pressure and cholesterol issues. And my dad has adult onset diabetes. My dad definitely does not take care of himself. He's had a heart attack because of his diabetes and still that didn't change the way he treats his body. He sneaks food. And that amazes me, that a man in his mid-60's would sneak food. So much so that I try to hide any candy or cookies I have in my house when he comes over.

I want my girls to see me change the way I eat and take care of my body. I don't remember seeing my parents exercise. I do remember them dieting. My dad did the cabbage soup diet and the Richard Simmons Deal-a-Meal. He was able to drop 20 pounds fairly quickly... but would then gain it back, plus more. He's still able to do that, but it takes longer and he gains more back. My mom did Weight Watchers. I also remember her, about a year before she was turning 50, saying she didn't want to go into her 50's being fat. Yet, she did nothing to change it.

So I'm trying to change things. When I look at my parents, I see my future. And as much as I love my parents, that's not the future that I want to live.

Thank Goodness for Points Counting

I have not made the best food choices in the past two days. On Friday, I went to Chick-Fil-A (my favorite fast food place!) for lunch. One sandwich and fry order later, I had eaten way more than half my daily points. But I knew that so I made some good choices for dinner (leftover chicken chili - only 3 points for one cup). Yesterday, I went to a birthday party in the afternoon and ate pizza and cake, then helped with a Haunted House in the evening and had a cookie and some candy.

So in the past two days, I have had zero fruits and veggies. Not the best choices... but I did stay within my points. In the past, I would have eaten way more cookies and candy - as well as whatever was around. So that's progress.

Slow and Steady

I weighed this morning and am down a pound from last week. I thought that it would have been more, but it wasn't. I did get my period this week, so perhaps that had something to do with it. I had stepped on the scale on Tuesday and was down more than I was today (I'm still working on not weighing myself more than once a week). So, it was a bit disappointing. But... I've lost 6.6 pounds in four weeks. During that same time period, I could have gained 5-10 pounds (I've done that before), so I'm quite happy to be losing instead of gaining. I do have a bit of a challenge in the next couple of weeks with Halloween, but I'm going to do my very best to keep within my points allotment. No cheating for me this year. I have faith that I CAN do it! My plan is to send most of the candy into work with my husband. If it's not in the house, I won't eat it.

Do I need to change the way I eat?

So far, I'm doing really well with keeping track of my points and making sure that I eat only my allotted daily points. There have been days that I've gone a bit over, but I also get 35 weekly points to do with as I want. There are days that I still have quite a few points left over after dinner. I've been enjoying popcorn almost every night - a snack size bag of 94% fat free popcorn is only 2 points. But I've also been eating things that I know I probably shouldn't. Like mini moonpies (3 points) and little bags of mini m&m's (2 points). And I know that's the kind of food that got me where I am.

But I didn't get fat eating one moon pie. The "old" me would eat three or four of them in one day. Now, I'm eating one and being satisfied by it. Which is a good sign, I think.

There's part of me that knows I probably shouldn't be eating those things at all. I should stick to fruits and veggies and whole grains. I need to find a happy medium. Is it okay to eat things that I know are not good for me as long as I limit the quantities?. I know that I'll want those things so much more if they are not allowed. My thin friends eat junk food, I know that. They just know when to stop. That's something that I'm trying to learn for myself - I've never known when to stop. And that's a big thing that I'm working on.

New Workout pants

I've been needing to get some new workout pants. I usually wear my husband's old basketball short, but with it getting chilly, I needed some pants. I have leggings (which I hate to wear) - I wanted something comfy and a little more hip. I looked at my Kohl's and they didn't have much in big girl sizes.

I found these at Target. They were only $14.99 when I bought them. According to the Target web site, they're on sale this week for $9.99 - I need to try to find my receipt and get the price adjusted. $5 is a lot of money these days. They're super comfy and big. And they fit my short frame (they don't drag on the ground like some pants do).

Bunco Tonight

I'm going to play Bunco tonight with some friends. And along with Bunco... lots of food and wine. I'm going to try to keep control of myself, but it's so hard. This is one reason I made Fridays my weigh-in day. If I do get out of control on the weekend, I have the whole week to make up for it. And I took a very long walk this morning - one worth 6 activity points, so I do have a lot to work with.

Friday weigh-in

Some good news... I lost 1.4 pounds this week. With my gain last week, that puts me down 5.4 pounds since I started Weight Watchers three weeks ago. Not bad. My personal goal was to lose 10 pounds by Halloween. Not sure if I'll do that... perhaps by Veteran's Day.

One thing I love about autumn is apples. They are very inexpensive this time of year and around here, we have a bunch of apple orchards where you can go pick your own. We're thinking about doing that on Sunday. Anyway, apples are only 1 point on the WW scale - I've been eating at least one a day. They'd be even better in a pie or crisp... but I'll just stick to the apples for now. Although I'm sure I can find a WW friendly apple pie-like recipe. Anyone have one?

The past two years, I've bought Halloween shirts on clearance at Old Navy. Is it just me or are Old Navy clothes just not cut right for bigger girls? It's depressing. And when I bought them (in size XXL), I thought, "this will be way too small for me next year." Yeah right. Because I didn't do anything for the past two years to improve my weight, they're not too small. And even though they are big sized, they fit like crap. Damn. I need to find a big girl Halloween shirt, but where? I promise I'll freecycle it next year when it's way too big.

Background change

I'm using one of the templates that blogger provides. If you have a cute custom background site for your blog (one that's free!), I'd love to hear about it. I'm looking for a cuter background. Thanks!

Unfortunately, a gain

Friday is my official WW weigh in day. When I stepped on the scale today, I was up 1.2 pounds from last week. Not a huge gain, but a gain nonetheless. Not that I was surprised. I have a few things that I am going to work on this week to help make the scale go down... more walking and more fruits and veggies. I have not been doing very well with eating fruits and vegetables and that needs to change. That change will start today.

Wal-mart Underwear

Our trip to the beach last weekend was very last minute and when I packed, I just threw things into suitcases and hoped that I had everything that I needed. The morning after we got there, I realized that I forgot underwear. Granted, I spent a lot of time in my bathing suit, but underwear was a necessity. The beach didn't have too many stores, but they did have a Wal-mart.

Wal-mart didn't have a big selection, but at least they had some bigger sizes. I bought what I needed, brought it home and opened it up. The panties were huge. There's no way they were going to fit. And then I put them on and they fit just fine. How depressing.

So my goal by the end of the year is for this underwear to fall down when I put it on. And then I'll have to get rid of it. Good riddance.

I added the points up...

and I actually didn't cheat as much as I thought I did while at the beach. With Weight Watchers, you are allowed your daily allotment, but also allowed 35 weekly points. I tried hard to remember all I ate and drank at the beach and I still have a few weekly points left. That's good news.

Nothing like a vacation...

to sabatage the recent success of your diet. We returned yesterday from a long weekend at the beach. I tried the first day to track my points, but then didn't keep track of my points any more. I did semi-decent. I mean, I didn't go crazy and eat a whole pack of Oreos... I only had three. I had a few drinks (beer, wine, martinis... yum!) and those pack a whole lot of points. We had dessert (cobbler with ice cream). We had hushpuppies (with butter). I didn't walk as much as I should have. I took a couple of strolls up and down the beach and played with my kids in the pool, so I was a little active.

I was pleased today when I got on the scale and I weighed the same as I did when I weighed in last Wednesday. Although Friday is my "official" Weight Watchers scale day. And I know it's not right to weigh in all the time, but I have been stepping on the scale every day. So sue me.

Progress... finally!

I got on the scale this morning and got some good news. I was down 4 pounds, which equals 10 pounds total. Yay! Weight Watchers is working... now I just need to keep at it. It's great to see numbers on the scale (lower numbers!) that I haven't seen in quite a while. Four more pounds and I'll be the weight that I was about 2 years ago.

I hope that the number keeps going down. I hope that I can keep this up. There have been so many times that I start out well and then give up. I know that I need to lose the weight. I'm tired of being this way. I'm tired of looking this way. I'm tired of not being able to buy clothes in the "regular" department in a store. I'm tired of having a double chin. Most of all, I'm tired of not having enough energy - or desire - to live the life I should be living.

Two cute stories about my cute three year old

So this blog is supposed to be about me and my journey to lose weight. I suppose, though, that my kids are a big part of that journey and in reality, they are a huge reason that I am making it. I want to be healthy for not only me, but them. I don't want them to have a fat mom. I don't want them to be embarassed of me. I want them to look at me and think I'm beautiful. And I want to be there for them as they grow up, perhaps get married and have babies. I want to dance at those weddings and hold my grandbabies.

On to the cute stories...

My hubby took my younger child to soccer practice... as I sat in the car and read while watching my older child at her practice. When she got back in the car, she said "Mommy, we scribbled the boys." She just could not say scrimaged.

And then today, the music teacher from her preschool comes to the same school bus stop as we do. Her teacher said hi to her and she said, "Hi... Music Teacher." Sometime she's so cute I just want to squeeze her!

How can a salad have that many points???

I'm doing fairly well with my WW points. That is, until today at dinner. My beloved is out of town, so I took my kids to Bob Evans. That seems to be our go-to place when Daddy is away. I decided to be good and get a salad. Unfortunately, before we went out, I didn't do research to figure out what I should eat... that's what I usually do. So I got a "savory" (small) sized salad. And when I got home, I looked it up and it was 15 points. Yikes! I also had a roll, which was 4 points. So now I'm quite a bit over my points for the day.



The salad WAS pretty good. It had dried cranberries, bleu cheese and pecans... no wonder it had so many points.

I need to go put the kids to bed and log a little time on the treadmill! Need to get some of those activity points!

Weight Watchers

I've been thinking about going back to Weight Watchers. I was successful with their program 9 or 10 years ago and lost about 35 pounds. The time of the meeting in my area is just not convenient to me, though, and I'd rather not drag the little rugrat with me. I saw a commercial the other day for a free week at weight watchers online. Today I decided to go ahead and sign up for the free week and see how I like it. You can find it at www.weightwatchers.com/free. Then I'll decide if it's something that I want to continue. The online version is a bit less than the in-person program.

So far, so good.

Operation Skinny Bitch

Crap... I just wrote out a long post and blogger ate it. Yikes!

Anyway... I was googling diet blogs yesterday and came across one that was entitled "Operation Skinny Bitch." The title interested me so I looked around it. I decided to add my name and join the quest to become a "skinny bitch." Although I noticed that many of the people on there are looking to lose 10-20 pounds and I'm looking to lose two or three times that amount. But that's okay - we are all striving for the same goal.

Where will I be in a year from now?

What will I look like? What size will I be? How much will I weigh? I do not want to go to my high school reunion as a fatty. I know that I won't be a skinny minny, but I'd like to be in a smaller size. To weigh less than I weigh now... maybe even quite a bit less. I haven't seen many of my high school friends in years. I don't want to be judged by anyone.

I hate being miserable in my own skin. And that's exactly how I'm feeling. So uncomfortable in my own body. This is not the way I was supposed to be. No matter what, a year is going to go by. And I can be happier and more miserable. Which will I choose?

I'm rambling... I can't seem to sort my thoughts out. I don't want to be all talk and no action.

Calorie Counting

A friend of mine has been working to lose weight and has lost 100 pounds in the past year or so. I emailed her and asked if she could share some tips. She said that she's been following the diet from the Biggest Loser books and that really, it's about calorie counting. She said that you should multiply your weight by 7 and that's how many calories you should be eating. Yikes... that's a lot of calories. I do know that you need to eat those calories in order to keep your metabolism up. So I've been trying to mentally keep track of my calories. What I really need to do is write down what I eat. That's one of my short term goals.

You rarely hear about calorie counting any more. You hear about fiber and fat grams and high fructose corn syrup. But it may be as simple as counting calories. Who knew?

I have lost 8 pounds and I saw a number on the scale that I haven't seen in a while. It's not nearly the amount that I'd like to have lost, but it's a start. My wonderful husband has lost about 20 pounds in the same amount of time. That's not fair at all, but it's all about testosterone... yadda, yadda. He has been doing well and running just about every day. So he's definitely exercising more than I am.

Another Wake Up Call

My husband has been working really hard to lose weight lately. And of course, men always lose faster than women. He's lost about twice the amount I have. And he's been running... I cannot run. At least not yet. I just can't stand to feel the fat jiggle. And I would hate for anyone to see me, so I'd have to run in the dark of night, which isn't very safe.

Anyway... my husband is a big guy. He's really tall - which makes him look not quite as heavy as he is. There was a time that he was more than 100 pounds heavier than I was. And I found out today that he's only a little more than 50 pounds heavier than me. How depressed am I?

So even though I didn't really want to, I took a really long, sweaty walk today (fourth one this week). And I avoided buying any cookies at the grocery store today. Even though I was really tempted. Those Oreos that were on sale were calling my name.

It's the small things, right?

I've noticed something lately. After washing my shorts, I don't have to struggle to put them on. I don't have to suck in my breath - they button without any problems. I haven't had to dance around while trying to pull them over my hips - they've slid right on. Sure, they're still a size that I'm not happy about. But at least my fat shorts are fitting!

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

I've been doing a great job with my walking. Yesterday, after I put my oldest on the bus for the first day of school, I took a walk that lasted over an hour with some friends from the neighborhood. It was long. I was tired (I needed a nap). But I felt so good. I'm going to do it again tomorrow. And I know it will get easier.

My eating, though, has not improved. No self control. But I knew that about myself. The program I'm on just started with the nutrition part of it, but I haven't been eating the food that it advises... which is lots of whole grains, fruits and veggies. I need to get on that wagon - it's a much healthier one. One place I've been doing well on is the no soda one. I haven't brought any into the house in weeks and haven't been drinking it out much either.

Am I Really That Fat?

I have the mindset that ignorance is bliss. I rarely take photos of myself - and even more rarely take photos of my whole body.

While we were on vacation a week or so ago, my youngest said she wanted me to ride an amusement ride with her. She chose the teacups (ugh!). I got on and noticed that I didn't fit very well. There wasn't much room between me and the spinny thing. No worries... she's little. She won't want the cup to spin very much. I noticed my husband, on the sidelines, had my camera in his hands. When I got off, I looked at the photos. Yikes. I should blow them up and use them as inspiration (too late though... I deleted them!).

I really AM one of the fat girls. I used to be so little. So skinny. So petite. Yeah... not anymore. But hopefully that will change and next year, I'll fit into the teacups a little better.

Random Thoughts

Last night, I had two bowls of Frosted Flakes. When I am going to get it through my head that I am not going to lose weight eating Frosted Flakes at 10:00 at night. But they're so, so good. I have no willpower whatsoever.

The good news is I've lost about 5 pounds in the past couple of weeks. The better news is I only gained back a pound while being on vacation at the inlaws last week. I've been doing fairly well with my walking. I only took one "planned" walk while on vacation, but I was on my feet a lot and managed to make quite a few steps every day.

A couple of weeks ago, I ran to the grocery store. As I walked in, I noticed a lady putting her groceries in her car. The lady was my high school boyfriend's mother. I could not let her see me. When I used to make out with her son (19 or so years ago), I was approximately 100 pounds lighter. ONE HUNDRED POUNDS. How disgusting is that? I could hear the conversation in my head... "Guess who I ran into? Boy, has she gotten fat. Her kids are cute, but her... wow! She's really let herself go." Granted she was (and I assume still is) a really nice lady, so maybe it wouldn't go quite like that.

And my 20 year high school reunion is coming up in another year. That's another motivation to lose weight. At my ten year reunion, I had just lost quite a bit of weight. I was probably about 60 pounds lighter than I am now. That's how I'd like to be in a year... if not more.

Walking Log Update... no soda... and a new goal

I turned in my pedometer numbers last night - my average amount of steps for the past week was 4,903. Not too bad considering one day I only had 1,294 steps because of the bronchitis that I was suffering. I'm supposed to try for an average of 5,303 steps this week (an increase of 500), plus walk a minimum of 10 minutes five times this week. Shouldn't be too hard. We went on a mile hike yesterday (helped me walk over 7,000 steps yesterday) and I did take a 15 minute walk today. The program is really designed to help people not gain weight (since the average adult gains 1-2 pounds a year). I hope it will help me lose weight.

I finished the diet coke that I had in the house and now I'm not buying any more. I did this as a new year's resolution and I did pretty well - until about a month ago. I bought soda for guests or something and became hooked once again. When the grocery store had a 5 packs for $10 deal a few weeks back, I couldn't pass up the deal. So now I'm only going to drink water at home (and the occasional beer or glass of wine). I will allow myself to drink it when I am out of the house, but that should only be a couple of times a week. Not the 3-4 habit that I was experiencing during these last few weeks.

My latest goal is to try to lose 18 pounds in the next nine weeks. Can I do it???

How many steps a day?

A friend of mine passed on an email with information on an 18-month university research project that is trying to get inactive adults (that's me!) to improve their nutrition, be more active through walking and not gain weight (that comes directly from their web site). I signed up right away. With it, I got a pedometer and a digital scale. I've been wearing the pedometer for about five days. It's quite interesting. I have certainly realized that I do not walk enough. My number of steps ranged from 1300 to 7500. Yikes. I've been sick with broncitis and the low number shows yesterday when I just layed around and did nothing.

I'm supposed to keep track of my steps for about a week and then report back in. The program includes a walking program and a nutritional program. We shall see... hopefully it will help.

The program is www.guide-to-health.com if you are interested in looking into it. At the moment, they are not taking new participants but that may change.

Where I want to be...

I've been through how I've gotten to where I am... at least I've skimmed the surface. Now... where I want to be. I want to live my true life. I want to make happy, wonderful memories for my kids. I want to look back and remember living. I know we only get one life and I am not living it very well. I hide in my house. I stay where I feel safe. I don't go outside my box very often.

I just watched a show about the life of Randy Pausch. He's the college professor that wrote the "Last Lecture" book. He died last week. He lived his best life. He made wonderful memories for his kids. And I'm sure he would give anything to switch places with any one of us.

So that's what I'm working toward. To live my best life... and be true to myself.

How did I get here?

I've been thinking a lot lately about why I am the way I am... overweight. I was a normal sized kid - even a little skinny. My prom dress was a size 9. I probably weighed about 125 pounds when I graduated from college. I gained 5 or 10 pounds during that first year of high school... still relatively thin. I convinced myself, though, that I was fat after I heard that my high school boyfriend (who was no longer in my life at that point) had told someone that I had gained a lot of weight. I remember confronting him and feeling so good about it. I also remember feeling like I was going to die inside. I walked a lot that summer (between freshman and sophomore years) and looked really good by the time I went back to school.

And then... I didn't keep it up. I ate junk. I didn't exercise. I drank a lot (well, no more than your average college sophomore). I gained weight. More and more. Probably 50 or so pounds over the next three years.

By then, I had a great boyfriend. One that liked to eat and drink. One that loved me for me. A few years later, that boyfriend would become my husband. And he's a great husband. He loves me despite the fact that I don't love myself.

Anyway... by now I was in my 20's. Living it up. I got married and settled into life with my husband. By the time I was 27 or so, I decided I needed to actually do something to lose weight. I started on Weight Watchers - which is a fantastic program. I went with two other ladies. They didn't last a month. But I kept going back every week. I walked almost every day. And I lost about 35 pounds in a year. Slowly by surely. And then I got pregnant. Pregnant and sick. I wasn't worried about what I ate because I was sick every day of that pregnancy.

When I had my baby, I tried to be careful with what I ate. I went back to WW. But by then I wasn't working anymore and the couldn't justify the cost. So I slacked. And before I knew it, I weighed what I did before I went to WW the first time (which was about what I weighed when I gave birth to my first child). And then I got pregnant again. I only gained 20 or so pounds. But that weight didn't come off after the baby was born. And now I weigh more than I did when I gave birth the second time. And when your "baby" is almost 4 years old, you really can't blame the pregnancy anymore for the weight.

What I want... what I need

I really want to be a good mom... a good wife... a good person. I realize that I lose my patience with the girls so easily... and that is something that I'm trying to work on. I realize that in order to love someone - to truly love someone - I must love myself first. And I'm working on that too. A little bit at a time. Two steps forward, one step back. And sometimes one step forward, two steps back.

I'm trying hard to have a happier mindset. I am so blessed in my life. I have a wonderful husband who loves me, quirks and all. I have two beautiful little girls who love me. I have some fantastic friends who love me. And yet, there is something missing. And I think what's missing is me loving me.

So basically, what I want and need is some self-love. And if anyone has any suggestions on where to get that, I'd love to hear them.

New book... new hope???

A woman on a bulletin board that I frequent suggested the book "Choose to Lose" by Dr. Ron Goor & Nancy Goor. I put my name on the library list a couple of weeks ago and it was finally available to pick up today. It's a big book - about 600 pages. I didn't expect that.

According to the cover, it's:
- A simple, effective method that puts you in control
- Not a diet, but a way of life
- Lose weight forecer and never be hungry
- Reduce your risk of heart attack, cancer and diabetes

We shall see. I'll read it - just like I've read all the books that came before. My most recent failure was Dr. Oz's book, "You: On a Diet." I kept at that for a few days before deciding it wasn't for me.

I have hopes for this book... I'll keep you updated.

No self control... where does it come from?

My dad has adult onset diabetes - which was diagnosed a dozen years ago. He had a heart attack several years back because he wasn't taking care of himself. And he still doesn't. I watch his weight creep up and down. I watch him eat the cookies and other sweets he should really stay away from. I watch him raid my candy jar (the one I don't even go in) every time he comes over to my house. I'm really thinking about hiding that jar. I can't stand it... I can't stand watching him not take care of himself. But I have the same lack of self control. I wonder if there's anyone in my life that watches me self destruct... watches me take that cookie and brownie when I really should be reaching for the strawberries or carrots.

Not the best week...

I haven't been having the best week. Mostly because I haven't been very careful with what I've been putting in my mouth. I did take a bike ride the other day and it was HARD. Goodness. I don't think I've been on a bike in about nine years - and I was quite a bit lighter then. I can only imagine what I looked like from the back. Actually, I don't even want to think about it.

What I really need to do is start writing down what I eat. So why haven't I been able to make that step. Maybe because writing things down will make me be honest with myself. So why aren't I ready for that? I'm not sure. Tomorrow's another day...

Drinking can be bad for the diet

We went to a neighborhood social at the pool last night - that was all you can drink. And we drank - all we could drink. Ugh. I'm not sure how many calories are in wine, but I'm sure it's not low-cal. And I drank a lot -probably more calories than I should have in one day. And felt like crap today... so much so that we went to McDonald's for breakfast and Five Guys for dinner - greasy food to help our upset tummies. Which is not the best for the diet. But we really did have a lot of fun, so I supposed it's worth it.

On a good note - I borrowed a pump and put air in the tires of my new bike. I washed it yesterday and it's good as new. Perhaps I'll try it out tomorrow.

A stomach bug is not a good diet

I hate not feeling well. But that's what's going one right now. I woke up in the middle of the night with horrible cramps and spent a bit of time the rest of the night in the bathroom. Not a good feeling. I'm still not feeling great and I haven't eaten much today. But feeling like crap is not good diet.

The good news in my life is that the treadmill works! I walked/ran on it a bit the other night. I hope to do it on a more regular basis. And I got a bike off of Freecycle. I just need to clean it up a bit and get a helmet. And Carina has a trailor that I can have - so I can pull #2 behind me while #1 and I take bike rides around the neighborhood!

Just some random thoughts

I was watching the funeral of Tim Russert today. I'm saddened by his death... and it's actually made me think about me. I know nothing about my heart health. And to be honest, I'm scared to go to the doctor. I do plan to make an appointment to have a physical - although I'd really like to lose a little weight first. I'm overdue for my yearly pap - and that's because the doctor told me at my last appointment that I needed to lose some weight. I've done anything but - I've gained 15 pounds or so since then (November 2006). I know how unhealthy it is to have extra weight on your body. I don't have the energy that I should have. I act like an old lady and I'm far from it. My knees have started to hurt while walking up stairs. I'm having a hard time getting off the floor when I'm sitting on it. All things that I never thought would happen to me. I see fat people and think "That's what I look like." It's a horrible way to live.

I've done well with the eating today. Of course, I'm going into the time of day that is difficult for me.

I'm going downstairs now to check out the treadmill that was given to us - over 6 weeks ago. It's shameful that I haven't tried it out yet.

Starting over... again

Third time is a charm... so they say. I've started this blog to help me on my (unsuccessful) journey twice already - now I'm onto my third time. And it is a journey, right? So here I am again.

I currently weigh more than I ever have. Ever. Even when I was 40 weeks pregnant with my last baby. Yeah... 8 pounds heavier than that. How disgusting is that? And today I was watching a dvr'ed episode of "John and Kate plus 8" and she mentioned how much she weighed when she gave birth to her six babies. Yeah... I weigh more than that.

A couple of weeks ago, I was looking through some old photos. Came across one from around my 19th birthday. I thought I was soooo fat then. I'd give a lot of money to be that "fat" right now. I'd love to get back down to that - or even close to that.

My clothes aren't fitting and I refuse to buy any bigger. So I'll have to squeeze myself into the clothes I have - or just wear the couple that really do fit. I'm not enjoying my life right now... and I know that quite a bit of it comes from my size. I'm disgusted with myself.... have I mentioned that?

So here I am. I've done well for the past two days. Well, minus all the wine I drank at Bunco last night. But my food eating has been pretty good. I've taken two (short) walks today. A little something is better than nothing.

I'm vowing to write more often - to hold myself accountable to something... even if it's just myself.

Why Not Me?

I find The Biggest Loser really inspirational. I do understand that a lot of it is set up and find it hard to believe that those people can lose that much weight in such a short period of time and NOT gain it back. I also believe that once most of those people go back to "real life," it may not be as easy for them. I mean, I could totally lose weight if my only responsibility in life was to exercise and eat what my trainer told me to eat. But, in real life, I have a lot going on. There's no way that I could exercise for eight hours a day. I took an hour walk today, and that was hard with a little one, in the stroller, complaining for the better part of the walk.

Anyway... back to The Biggest Loser. Ali really inspired me the other night. She could have been talking about ME! She was talking about how she shut down and didn't think she was worthy of happiness. She's now discovered "Why not me???" And so I ask myself... "Why not me?" I'm worth it. I SHOULD be happy! I should love myself enough to get healthy. And I'm really working towards that.

Today, I took a long, long walk with some of the ladies in my neighborhood. It was hard. In fact, in the beginning, when they told me where they were walking, I had serious doubt that I could do it. But one of the ladies encouraged me to do it. And I did. I made it! And I felt okay afterward. I seriously could have taken a nap afterward, but I didn't. I drove it and it was a little over 3 miles. That I walked. While pushing a stroller (that probably weighed, with child, about 40 pounds). And I'm going to do it again next week.

Jelly Beans are the devil

I sit here eating jelly beans. Lots and lots of jelly beans. They are the enemy right now. Jelly beans... and girl scout cookies. I bought two more boxes today at the last booth sale of the year. I'm not going to open them for months. So they won't be a problem right now. But jelly beans are. I just bought two bags of them. And then I read the nutritional value. Not a good choice at all.

I took a self picture today and immediately deleted it. I had three chins in it. Not pretty.

I haven't been doing well at all. Although I haven't gained anything, which is the only good part of life right now. I need to walk. And once the bus picks up on Monday, I'm putting the kid in the stroller and taking a walk... or at least that is my plan.

Down three pounds

I weighed myself today and I'm down 3. Not bad for a week. Went to an activities committee meeting today - avoided the thin mints and chocolate cake that were available. And a bonus - I walked to the meeting. It was a beautiful afternoon. The weather is supposed to be decent for some of this week also - hopefully I can get some walks in.

Finally on the wagon...

So finally, after thinking about it for weeks (okay... years!), I've started counting my points again. I started last Thursday (February 21st) and have done fairly well. Minus going to the Cheesecake Factory with Rorie on Sunday and eating a piece of chocolate cake at Bunco on Monday. I haven't officially weighed myself to see how I've done.

We went to the Olive Garden for dinner yesterday and I avoided the breadsticks. Which is good because I looked it up when I got home I saw they were 3 points each. Ugh! And truthfully, I usually eat two or three when we go there. I'm not sure what kind of points I ate with my dinner, but I had a lot of points to work with. And I've had a hard time eating all my points in the past few days. I know that you're not allowed to "bank" points, but whatever.

I will be thrilled if I lose 10 pounds by the end of March. I'm worried that once it gets warm, I won't have anything to wear. It's been bad enough this winter, but at least you can cover yourself up in the cold weather. Not so much once it gets warm!